i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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