this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
