Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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