i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.