I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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