the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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