I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
