Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
