We're facebook friends in real life
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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