its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
