I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
