If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
