already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
