my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
