bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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