Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize