After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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