There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
