@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
