You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
