Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
