dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
