i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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