At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You are the jesus of drinking
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
