I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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