Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
