Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
