I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
