its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Boobs are out for the taking
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
