allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
