My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
