8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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