He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
