ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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