What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
