It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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