Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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