she looked like the bat from fern gully.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
