scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
