So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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