drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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