omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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