he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
how drunk are you?
Several
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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