I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize