well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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