the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
