Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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