You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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