you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm jealous of your bromance
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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