Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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(612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g

Replies (3) Good night (3522) Bad night (643)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.

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(540): Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do. http://tfl.nu/lc9b

Replies (8) Good night (3397) Bad night (744)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.

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(706): I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night. http://tfl.nu/vtqv

Replies (26) Good night (882) Bad night (3839)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home

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(423): headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home http://tfl.nu/dqj3

Replies (29) Good night (8915) Bad night (1133)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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(306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2

Replies (15) Good night (5700) Bad night (1094)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.

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(303): i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once. http://tfl.nu/besu

Replies (17) Good night (1762) Bad night (2946)
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(773): View more from Illinois

once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

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(773): once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up http://tfl.nu/esy3

Replies (5) Good night (2613) Bad night (588)
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(207): View more from Maine

DRUNK CANOEING

(804): View more from Virginia

Please text me if you survive.

(207): View more from Maine

LAND HO BITCH

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(207): DRUNK CANOEING (804): Please text me if you survive. (207): LAND HO BITCH http://tfl.nu/6y3l

Replies (27) Good night (10211) Bad night (879)
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(631): View more from New York

if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

(516): View more from New York

.org?

(631): View more from New York

yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

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(631): if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org (516): .org? (631): yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night. http://tfl.nu/4hpr

Replies (8) Good night (2813) Bad night (586)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

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(225): Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina http://tfl.nu/plxw

Replies (4) Good night (2489) Bad night (882)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

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(614): I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower. http://tfl.nu/c26q

Replies (15) Good night (500) Bad night (1034)
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(281): View more from Texas

Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.

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(281): Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real. http://tfl.nu/xx9a

Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (491)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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(907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8

Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (253)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.

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(802): Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/nv64

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (228)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.

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(702): Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird. http://tfl.nu/0bqw

Replies (1) Good night (262) Bad night (447)

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