while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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