I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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