I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Farmville is her only friend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
