I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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