I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
