oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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