Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
