He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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