i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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