My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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