If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We're too hungover to prance.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
